Learning the Art of Conversation

The push-of-the-button-fast-food culture has adversely
affected conversation skills. It's so difficult to have a
conversation these days. At home, it is hushed or rushed -
limited to when the commercial is on, or at rare moments
when the television is off. In the car, it is drowned by the
blare of FM channels. At the office, it's all about work,
pressure, stress. At parties, it's simple recitation of dead-
end phrases like these:
"Hi, how're you?" (Try answering that!)
"How's work?" (Answer in one sentence!)
"Awful weather!" (So what?)
These prefabricated trite questions are total dead-ends;
the conversation can't go any forward. It gets worse when
the other speaks in monosyllables. ,
Ashok: "Hi, how'er you?" .
Tina: "Fine."
Ashok: "I'm Ashok."

Tina: "Tina."
Ashok: "What dya do?"
Tine: "Work."
Ashok: "How's work?"
Tina: "Fine."
Ashok: "Awful weather!"
Tina: "Yeah."
Do you talk like that? If you do, you need to improve
your conversation skills. We have yet to come across people
who are born conversationalists - the art is cultivated. Look
at it this way, although every waking moment is spent
speaking or listening to someone, or something, the truth is
before the words leave our lips, we haven't the faintest
notion of what we sound like, what we say will be
remembered, or whether we are good listeners.

Learning the Art of Conversation
you may have heard someone say, "She's a good
conversationalist." What it really means is, she is a good
listener. It may sound strange but it is true, being a good
conversationalist is akin to being a good listener. A good
listener listens - she is the person who helps to keep the
conversation going. She follows the development of the
story being told, or the argument being put forward by the
speaker. She thinks with the speaker and is able to ask
leading questions - without interrupting the speaker.
Interruptions are the most common and among the most
irritating errors people generally make in conversation.

Some people are shy and diffident. A good listener gently draws such people out and help them to speak by finding topics that they are interested in and which they have experience in. The shy person will be able to talk about these things with confidence and will gradually overcome shyness - to some degree.

"Do good conversations- , lists only listen, but never speak," you may ask? Of course you will speak and contribute to the conversation, but you will not monopolies it. Do not be a know-it-all, a show-off, or a clown. If you are, it won't be long before your business associates put you down as one to enjoy - an object of entertainment, but not one to take on serious business, or worse still, not one to have around where manners and decorum are important. Be natural. There is no advantage in pretending to be something you are not. Be relaxed in your attitude, and show some open-mindedness and modesty avoiding aggressive or dogmatic statements. You are with others to ~hare ideas, not quarrel. People resent the "braggart," the faultfinder," the "interrupter," and the "know-it-all."